Cuts and faceless icons
P.S. I watched "Ring Up" today and "P.S. I Love You"
Do you keep it, sell it, or give it back? Those are all the questions someone needs to know if you decide to get married but suddenly after years of being in love the ring the symbolizes a couples love for each other. The rings, you put on your finger is supposed to be forever right? Even when the love is still there but your relationship starts to take a u turn back to the start. Back to the place you didn't want to be in anymore once you decide to put a ring on that left hand. This is a tough decision, a decision one will make when you can't be in a marriage but it's an even bigger tougher decision when you marry for love.
This question came to Robin on the day Barney walked out on her. She stared at the door then at her hand that still had her engagement ring on but her wedding ring wasn't. She stared at the door for a good 5 minutes before she burst into tears that she couldn't seem to control. She collapsed to the floor without moving once she hit the nice smooth rugged floor and bawled. Bawled for two hours none stop, she couldn't believe this just happened. She lost him, again. This is something she was so afraid of happening, Barney Stinson not being committed to her enough to stay by her side even was she was being a stubborn bitch for months but it didn't mean she wanted to fight over something so petty as wifi or anything with Barney. Yes, these past few months was exhausting and putting a lot of strain on their marriage. With her working so many hours and not giving any of her time to her relationship with Barney caused that stupid fight.
She was a mess for weeks after that time but now things have been normal again. Normal between her and Barney whom she hadn't talked to in months because for one thing he wouldn't return any of her calls, texts or emails and she wasn't in contact with the rest of her friends either to see how Barney was doing. She wanted to take back everything but knew she couldn't and now she's alone, single, divorced from the love of her life and questioning what the hell did she do. Which brings her to Barney's front door, the front door of the home she once called her home. The fortress as Barney would call it, she has been dreading this moment but it has to be done she can't keep chickening out and running from her pain and from talking to Barney who she still hoped would be her friend.
She takes a deep breath to try to calm her nerves and then knocks on the door. Robin hopes that Barney is home, she didn't want to wait around for him or come back again cause then she just wouldn't have the courage she has now to talk to him. She takes another deep breath and before she knew it he was standing in front of her holding the door with his right hand to keep it open.
“Robin? Hi” Barney wasn't expecting to see anyone today especially Robin because he heard from Lily that she was in China for a month. He's surprised to see her, she looks sad so he immediately asks “what's wrong?” He waits for an answer and raises his eyebrow still in shock that she's even standing at his door right now.
“Uh, can I come in we need to talk.” It's been one year without talking to each other, one year of ignoring any phone call or text, one year after their divorce was final they both didn't know where to begin but Barney let her in and closed the door behind her.
When they finally faced each other again and had about what seemed like a forever minute with nothing but silence between them Robin finally said what she came here to say.
“Listen, Barney I came here to talk to you but also I wanted to give this back to you.” Robin dug into her jacket pocket to take out the engagement ring that she never gave back to him after they finalized their divorce because they weren't talking but since she's leaving to China the next morning she decided to do this one last important thing she's been putting off for along time.
“Uh, you don't have to do that that ring is yours I gave it to you.” Barney had been really angry for months with Robin and what happened between them took him along time to get over. He's still not over the worst thing that ever could and in this case did happen to him... Losing Robin.
“I know but I can't keep it it's not right. I've been meaning to give this back to you for.” She pauses to reflect on the last year of her life that wasn't at all a happy time in her life. “Well, since you walked out that door in Argentina.” Oh, there it is the real reason why she's standing in front of him with that ring in her hand.
“So that's why you're here. You think that giving back the ring will finally put everything out of your mind and start over. You came here to give me back something that will forever prove to you that you never loved me. Well, that's just great.” He turned away not facing her now, he wasn't expecting to ever see Robin again when they finalized their divorced and she moved out he wasn't at home that day because he couldn't bring himself to see her pack up her stuff and leave what should have been her home for the rest of their lives.
“No, that's not why I want to give this ring back to you. Barney, you think I don't love you and never did well let me tell you something...” She was hoping that this would go smoothly but boy was she wrong. “I did, do love you Barney that's not why I came her to give you your ring back.” She was in tears now, trying to stop crying but failing to do so when he sees how upset Barney is. After all this time, a year he's still as hurt by their divorce as she is. She noticed he was crying as well, this broke her.
A few minutes past and they were silent for a while not talking or looking at each other and both were still crying Robin more than Barney but still crying. This was painful, the is more painful than she thought. She thought she would come here and rationally talk to Barney but she didn't think it would lead to tears and them not talking.
“Look, I'm sorry if I hurt you Barney but you weren't the only one hurting. I was a mess after we finalized those divorce papers. I missed you and was crying day and night for weeks it just hit me the day I moved out of here.” She means the apartment that once was her home the place she thought she would spend the rest of her life happy with Barney by her side but things change. “The real reason I came back to New York was because I was alone, alone, lonely, angry, upset, sad over us. I came back to see you but then I saw how happy you seemed to be the other day and I realized that it was time to give you this ring back. I thought you were fine over us ending out marriage.” Robin has been so confused lately, she has her job but isn't doing her international news reports anymore instead she's been stationed in New York permanantly which is why her last gig overseas is in China for two weeks then she would return back to her home. New York and when she came to talk to Barney she was hoping they could be friends again.
In this moment, she realized that she isn't here to give this ring back. His ring, she's here to apologize and hopefully they can work things out. They might not be marry but she still loves him, the bastard has that hold on her that she hasn't begun to know how to shake him, or the idea of being with him again.
She started talking again “I am sorry for everything truly I am I didn't realize how upset you are over us and I want to make it up to you. I know I did you wrong by not putting you or our marriage first but I do still love you Barney that. That just has never not been true.” She notices he's still not looking at her but she's damn serious right now. She wants to be with him again, their marriage might not have worked but that was her fault not his. She didn't know how to compromise in their marriage and her mind was mostly on her work but it didn't mean she didn't love him or take their marriage seriously.
Barney took a while to look at her but when he did he gave her a small smile and then said. “These past months, this year for me was hell I was a mess and didn't do much for months everyone was worried about me. That's how much of a mess I was when we split up. Robin, I don't know how to get what we were back but if you want we can try something. But, there is one thing we aren't and that is friends, yes you are still my best friend but I don't love you like a friend.” This was finally out there, in the open for her to know. This is his confession, he held this inside him so tightly that he had forgotten just how upset more like devastated over their marriage ending. He never told anyone until now.
“You still love me?” Robin asks, she's shocked, wasn't expecting him to still love her after what she did. After what happened to end their marriage.
“Of course I do. You are the love of my life Robin I will always love you even when you think I don't, I do. And, I mean it.” He will always love this woman even when she's the most frustrating person in the world and he wants to yell curse words at the top of his lungs but she always pulls him in with the way she looks at him or the way she smiles at him it makes his heart skip two billion beats a minute.
“I love you.” Robin just blurts out after another moment of silence. “And, I mean it too. I made a huge mistake ending our marriage it's the biggest most stupidest thing I ever did and I truly mean it when I'm sorry for everything that happened.” The next moment she knew he was kissing her. At first, when she came here it was to give back the ring and leave but that didn't happen.
They spend the next hours catching up in the bedroom it didn't take long for them to get two rounds in. This has always been something that never failed in their relationship. The sex was always the best for the both of them, the best they ever had and on this night they didn't stop until early morning when Robin had to leave to go to the airport. They talked before she left and decided to work things out Robin kept the ring but put it on a necklace around her neck that she never takes off unless she takes a shower or gets it wet but other then that she keeps it on.
Barney had asked her to move back into the fortress after two months of being back together and her job is going well, she's now head anchor on the local channel 2 news and is a world wide known personality she of course eats her popularity up anytime she gets noticed but she loves it. Barney and Robin decided to adopt a puppy which was a surprise with no lies or tricks involved they named the puppy Daggers after Robin's other alter-ego Robin Daggers.
It has been a struggle for Robin, when she first came to New York she thought she'd just come to work to further her career but after a few months she had become lonely. She missed home. She missed her friends and some family members but most of all she felt like she didn't belong in the big city. Then she met these four nice people who befriended her and made her part of something. Part of a family she never had, she loved living in New York, her career is better and taking off with her being an anchor. It was her dream to become a anchor of a big news network and be on TV every night or in this case morning. Working early mornings has been stressful on her body and she's always tired when she gets home that she doesn't want to be bothered.
One night before she goes upstairs to her apartment she stops in the bar for a drink. She wasn't expecting to see anyone but she did. Barney had just came from work to get his own drink on and maybe hit on some girls but this wasn't his night because there wasn't many women in the bar. . When he spotted a familiar brunette come through the door his night turned from boring to interesting.
They started talking and drinking, soon after it was midnight the bar was pretty bare and Carl was closing up for the night even though the closing hour is 2 am. They ended up sitting on the front stoop of her apartment talking about things that had been going on. Now, they don't always get to just sit down and talk because for one he lives uptown and two they aren't that close. But, the more they got to know each other the more they realize that they have more in common than they thought. When they first met, she teased him about not having a date for that evening but that night made him realize something that he didn't want to take seriously or even begin to understand... Robin Scherbatsky is one awesome person, she's funny, beautiful, smart, independent but most of all a great gal to hang around with. She loves Scotch, guns and playing laser tag these are all the trates that he always wanted in a girl. He may deny over and over again to himself that he's just fine being alone. Living on the upper East side in a awesome fortress, being single and rich is the best life anyone can dream of having.
But, sometimes he thinks about where he is and where he wants to be. In a few years maybe he will settle down with a wonderful woman but right now he likes playing the field, in a Playbook-hit-on-sleep-with sort of way. Being a player isn't about the women it's more about the game of the playing.
When he and Robin do get to hang out they always have a wonderful, legendary, fun time but then she started to dodge his phone calls and emails. It started to worry him until now... When Robin told him about work and how it's been really stressful on her in more ways than one and that Ted has been constantly persisting to relax her by having sex with her Barney wondered why would someone like Ted would ask such a thing. She told him that Ted has been coming on to her in weird ways, he would sometimes when it's late at night knock on her bedroom door to check on her when she says she's fine Ted doesn't listen and instead goes in her room to make sure she's fine. When she asks him to leave, he does leave but than suddenly he turns up at her bedside watching her sleep. It's become really weird and creepy, but she thinks that Ted's just being a good friend to her making sure she's okay.
The stressful nights and mornings had made her overthink things and see things that weren't very clear in her mind or eyes. Barney convinced her that it wasn't a bad thing that Ted checks on her every now and then and that he's only concerned for her well being. Barney knows that Ted wouldn't hurt Robin or do anything she didn't want him to do. Especially when they had a romantic past but he convinced her to ignore him and get on with her days and nights.
The stoop conversation lasted another half hour before he went home and she went upstairs to bed.
The next morning came quicker than she wanted it to. Robin woke at 5am, it was a Saturday which meant she got to sleep in a little longer than she did the previous night but Robin gets up puts on her purple flowered robe and heads to the bathroom. After five minutes, she was done with the bathroom but she was still tired so she headed back to bed. One thing came to her mind all night, that was the conversation she had with Barney the night before. She wondered if she could trust living in her apartment with Ted right across the hall.
The nights were always a bad time for Ted he is always really cranky and complains about his job. It had become a routine with him which annoyed Robin to the point where she had to put a stop to his complaining by slapping him and then kissing him to put some sense into his mind. But all that did was make him horny for her.
They had been fighting for weeks about everything that was brought to their attention. Robin only decided to be his roommate because his friends moved out. She wasn't expecting to stay longer than a month but when she got fired she couldn't leave due to financial troubles. But, then Ted had lost his job which angered him making his nice guy attitude turn into just an attitude. Anytime Robin asked him what's wrong he'd wave a hand or just ignore her but then she got sick of his whining and complaining about his job that she had enough. She smacked him hard across the face which then had him swinging back at her causing her to punch him hard in his jaw. The fight didn't stop that night, the next night the fighting turned into sex. This wasn't planned but the fight was so intense that it lead to Ted stopping her by kissing her. After they had sex Ted left her room. The fight was so bad that Robin left the apartment early that morning. She had to work the next day so decided to sleep in a hotel down the street from her office building.
"Barney, I'm not going to bet on a soccer game." Barney and Robin have only been married for a year and it's that time again when the World Cup is on and everyone just stops and watches two teams kick a ball back and forth on a large field. The whole world is so invested in it and everyone has a favorite team. Barney being Barney and a true American roots for Team USA and Robin being Canadian and not much of a soccer fan wasn't up to betting on something she doesn't really follow. She likes Sports in general but hockey is her game. But, Barney was being so excited yet bored on this trip to Brazil that he kept betting on games with Marshall via Skype or text that he decided to get Robin involved too.
"Come on, live a little Robin. We've been cooped up in hotels for months now can't you take a break for a while?" Barney was being patient with Robin and traveling with his wife wasn't that bad but it was hard for them to spend any time together because of Robin always working. So, if he wants to at least have a little fun with Robin this is the only time they get since she's not working or focused on work.
"I'm not the kind to bet on soccer games there isn't much going on that excites me." Robin's sitting on the bed with her laptop on her lap checking her emails and searching for new clothes for the new country they're in right now. She doesn't look up from her computer screen to answer Barney she just waves a hand and types an email to Lily who's been also busy with her art consultant job.
"But, you bet on football (American) games, hockey games, even baseball games which was sudden even when you say you don't like betting on lame baseball games." Barney's counter argument was true, she did better on other sporting events. She even won the last Superbowl bet she made with Barney which was for him to stop sending her dirty text while at work. He did stop for a while but when he's bored and lonely in a hotel things happen so he started sending them again. It does make her laugh even if she gets mad because she's at work, those texts could be seen by anyone if she wasn't careful.
"Okay, you have a point. I'm in, what game do you want to bet on?"
"The Germany Vs. Brazil game."
"I'm for Germany and Marshall's for Brazil, which team are you supporting?"
Robin closed her laptop but still kept it on her lap and looked up at her husband.
"Well, I am in Brazil so I will go for the native country. Plus, they're hosting the thing so why not right?"
Barney took his wallet out of his pants pocket and bet $100 on the game. Now, this is a big game because it was the quarter finales and the team who wins will go for the Cup in the final. Barney had all his hope and money on Germany winning because hey he likes the underdog story. Although, surprisingly Germany has been winning all the games they have played so far.
Robin goes back to her emails and sends Marshall one telling him she's in on betting on the game. But, luckily he was online so they chatted for a bit instead.
To; Big Judge Fudge
Hey, Marshall I'm in on the game I'm for Brazil too. We are so going to win this bet, they are clearly the better team.
Mrs. Sparkles Stinson
Awesome, we are so going to kick some German ass. Am I right?
Big Judge Fudge
Totally, how did he convince you to join the bet?
Mrs. Sparkles Stinson
Nothing, I just thought it would be fun to join in on the fun
Big Judge Fudge
Okay, oh Lily said she can't wait for you guys to come back to New York we miss you guys
Mrs. Sparkles Stinson
We miss you too, we will leave in a few days be back home on Friday for the weekend then it's off to Rome
Big Judge Fudge
Rome huh? Rome was awesome, it's a stunning place to be in we had fun when we were there
Mrs. Sparkles Stinson
I know, Lily told me. I've always dreamed of going to Rome I love Italy
Big Judge Fudge
You guys will love it
The conversation went on for another 10 minutes before it was time for Robin to get some sleep because she needed to be up early. She didn't want to say anything about her and Barney fighting lately so she kept that to herself for now. She hated these useless fights with her husband, it's only be a year since they were wed and all the do is fight about her job. She was sick of the fighting and exhausted from working all the time. When they got married she didn't think marriage could be so difficult and working all the time and barely having a straight forward honest conversation with Barney either, they try to talk it over or they get angry for no reason and the arguments go on for hours. It's been this way ever since Robin took the foreign correspondent job. It was so frustrating to not see Robin all the time and he's getting tired of all the traveling. Being with Robin was great but always being in different places all the time was not great.
One night last week Robin came home late from working and Barney was still up typing a last entry in his blog. Everything was okay for a minute and then Barney became serious it was odd behavior Robin thought, but she let him talk. He was fed up with all the traveling and not being able to see Robin for more than just a day on Sundays. He missed being with her all the time, when they got married he thought the happiness he felt was going to last forever but now he just hates not waking up in the morning with her already gone or going to sleep with her still not back from work.
"I can't do this anymore Robin. I miss you and hate this traveling. I mean being with you is great but ever since you started this foreign correspondent job I hate not being able to see you. I came with you to be with you, but I barely see you at all and when I do you're too tired to talk to me. It's not that I don't like these different countries I just don't like not getting to see you." Barney was almost in tears as he said this, it was the honest thing he's ever said and he hates feeling this way especially because he's so proud of Robin's success. But, this was too stressful on their newly wedded-year-marriage but he's ready to go back to New York to his actual home.
She tells him "I know, I miss being with you too. This job is so stressful and I'm always tired but I have to do my job Barney. I know I missed our anniversary and I will make it up to you but I have to do my job." He understands of course, he always been supportive and happy for Robin's success but he's just not happy and he misses her a lot more than he ever thought was possible since they got married and vowed to always be with each other no matter what.
"I'm tired of not seeing you, I am so honestly happy for your success but I'm lonely a lot sitting in a hotel room every day isn't making what I thought was going to happen when we got married any easier on our marriage. When we got married I promised to be honest with you and honestly I'm not happy. I love you too much to have you chose between your career and me but I can't do this anymore." Now he was crying and she was crying trying to take in what he just told her.
It was such a sudden realization that Barney isn't happy when that hasn't been true for the last two trips they had been on. She gets why he's feeling this way but there isn't anything she could do to change her career. They promoted her for this gig because they thought she was the best for it but that was before she married Barney. She wanted to stay in New York with her friends and her husband so she turned it down plus she was happy just being an anchor. But, then they asked her again only two months into her marriage to do the correspondent job. She talked it over with Barney and he was more than happy for her new job. Then it was an interesting theory, traveling around the world with Robin would be fun plus he doesn't have GNB to go back to so going different places with Robin would be an awesome fun thing to do. It wasn't so awesome after a week of Robin's first assignment.
Two weeks later Robin took two more assignment one in Brazil and one in Rome. Both were a two week trip. Barney agreed to accompany her on the Brazil trip and then go back home to wait for her to finish the Rome trip. But, he then regretted not being there in Italy with Robin because not only did he want to see Rome it's one of the most beautiful places in the world to be in but also he wanted to take this trip with Robin so they can celebrate a late 1 year anniversary. Cause, hey Rome is such a romantic place to be in and it was Robin's idea to end her correspondent job in the most romantic city ever so this was her way of making all this traveling up to Barney.
On the day of the quarter finals the bet was on. Barney Skyped with Marshall so they can watch together live while Robin talked to Lily on her own video chat. Marshall and Robin lost the bet and both payed Barney $100 each and were pretty bummed out after what happened with this game. They didn't see this mess coming at all it was really sad to watch even for two people who weren't that big on soccer. But, they were still pretty sad about it... Barney didn't want to rub it in cause he felt bad for Brazil too seeing them go down that badly was like watching the most thrilling action movie but with a horrible ending to it.
Barney and Robin go to Rome after this, she does her last correspondent gig then they took a romantic trip around the city before going back home. They both struggled for a while but their relationship and marriage was stronger for talking about their problems. A half a year later Barney & Robin decided to move out to Long Island where his mom Loretta and now husband Sam live. Even though both hated the suburbs being near family wasn't so bad plus they love going back to Farhampton Inn as much as they can when they can. It was after all their place that made their lives completed.
The last chapter wasn't exactly how I wanted that to go. Chapter 3 was supposed to be different but it does go with the story, I should have made that chapter for a later chapter. The next couple of chapters will focus on Robin's career and Barney's new found success as an online banker through GNB. Barney is also running his own daily questions and answers blog and the blog name is LEGENDARY ADVICE. He updates everyday when he gets the chance. I also want to focus on the Stinson family and Barney telling his family that he and Robin are divorcing.
Robin calls Barney the day after she talks to Lily to tell him she's going to go pick up all of her personal items.
"Soooo. That should be everything." Robin is packing up her things as Barney looked on sadly.
"Yep, I can't believe this is over." Barney says sadly looking down at the floor. He knew this has to be, but he hated letting Robin go. He wanted to tell her to stay, that he regrets now giving up on her but he doesn't. He just stands there sadly trying to avoid eye contact. God this hurts him more than he though, losing Robin was one of his worst fears and now that they are about to get divorced it's all sinking in. He wants to cry or punch a wall or just run, crab her and kiss her. He does neither!
She's been holding back tears for the last 10 minutes hoping upon hope that he changes his mind or she won't be a coward and leave. She so doesn't want to leave, she wants to stay. Tell him that she was wrong and that she wants to work things out. She did come back for him, quitting her job for him it was one of the most pressuring things she's ever done and only three years into their marriage she's already taking the easy way out when that's the last thing she wants to do. She still loves him, always has and always will but her brain is telling her it's time to leave or her heart will give in and she'll kiss him until they're both lying in his (our) bed. Ugh, that king sized comfortable best-night-sleep-bed they bed she had wonderful dreams in. The bed where she thought she would spend every morning in waking up next to Barney and going to sleep in every night. Kissing him good morning and good night and the legendary sex they had and could have had for many many years and decades. She wanted to spend her whole life with him. She thought once they're married they'll have it all (all meaning each other because that's the only thing both wanted) but now. Now she's packed up her things and is about to walk out of the fortress for the very last time.
Barney walks Robin to the front door. "I." Barney starts to say something, he wants to tell her to stay. Take each of her bags and bring them back into the bedroom and then crab her a kiss her until they couldn't leave each other. But, this has to be. At least for now anyway. As much as it hurts it needs to be. "So are you taking that promotion?" Barney asked not knowing if Robin really wants to take on such a big news station at such a young age because it would be a lot more pressure for her to take and a lot more of her time.
"Yes, I'm thinking of it. I'm meeting with the current Vise-President tomorrow morning." This was an unexpected question to ask, she thought Barney was going to say something else which he was but she didn't have to know that.
"Cool, I just want you to know that whatever you do and wherever you go you will always be... "Legen" "Legendary" She finishes smiling lightly back at him.
"I know, I got to go." Robin wanted to kiss him on the cheek but that would be too intimate. The fact is, anytime her lips makes contact with Barney she feels this weird tingly sensation in her stomach it was like getting sucked into a well or being pinched in the stomach. It was that instantly feeling of happiness, anytime she's around him she feels that connection, that never-goes-away feeling of wanting and needing him. This never ends, it keeps going until her mind bursts and her heart goes awry.
They stand there for a moment until Barney says "bye, and good luck tomorrow." He tells her locking the door behind her. Robin stands by the elevator waiting for it to arrive on the floor. She looks back at the door not too far away from where she stands and her eyes start to get blurry. This is real, this is happening, I actually left him when I still wanted to try and work things out. She already regrets not saying anything or doing something about it but she doesn't do a thing and when the elevator stops at Barney's floor she enters it letting the doors close behind her. She stands at the side of the elevator letting her luggage go from her hands.
"This really happened." She says as she starts to have a breakdown in the elevator. Lucky for her there was nobody inside it to see her break down in heavy flowing tears or bang her hand against the wall so hard she could feel it tingling from hitting the wall.
When Robin finally left, Barney instantly regretted letting her leave without telling her to stay and that he wants to be with her and not get divorced because that's the last thing he ever wanted. Divorcing Robin, even putting her name on those damn papers makes him want to take his huge TV off the wall and throw it off the balcony. But, he doesn't and instead he gets a glass out of the cupboard to fill it with scotch cause right now he can't be sober. He needs to be so drunk that it'll erase the last couple of months cause it really happened. Robin left him for good and he was too scared to ask her to stay because he was afraid of the answer.
The elevator stopped at the main floors lobby. Robin tries to fix herself up and dry her eyes before the elevator opens but it was no use cause the doors opened to people witnessing the mess she just was in. She didn't care though, she moved passed them and out into the lobby.
"Oh, Mrs. Stinson." That name, she had changed her name the moment she was married because being a Stinson means being with Barney for the rest of her life. Plus Scherbatsky is really hard to spell.
"Yes?" She said bracing herself to look at Larry who's the building security guard.
"I'm sorry, are you okay?" Larry asks worried giving Robin that look she always hated on people. You know? That pity look that says I'm oh so sorry.
"Yes, I'm fine." Robin brushes her hair out of her face and looks up at the nice man before her.
"Oh, okay. Do you want me to get you something. A cab or car?" Larry asked not wanting to ask why Robin was crying although he sees she was but it's not his place to ask why.
"Yes. That will be nice thanks Larry." She smiles lightly trying not to show her pain through her fake and sad smile.
Robin waits for a cab outside the building and has a brief but nice conversation with Larry. She doesn't tell him what happened and that she and Barney are getting a divorce. And he doesn't ask why she was crying but they talk about her new job opportunity and Larry wanting to retire.
"You know, it's not always a good thing to just have a job." Larry tells her after she talks about her promotion.
"Oh, why?" She asks him wanting to know why Larry thinks a job isn't everything you need in your life.
"Because it isn't everything. It's only money to make your life easier, but money isn't everything with especially when you have a family, loved one(s), or even a personal life. It's just money, you have to make money but you don't need it in your life. A job is just way for people to get money for their everyday lives it doesn't make you complete." With those words, a cab pulled up in front of the building and Larry helps Robin put her luggage in the trunk.
"Thank you Lar. You are a great man." She tells him giving him a sweet kiss on his cheek and giving him a tip for being so nice to her and getting her a cab.
"Have a good day Mrs. Stinson." "Please, call me Robin." She still can't say that name without bursting into tears it's something she's been doing since Barney left her two weeks ago.
"Robin. Take care now." Larry says with a smile closing the cab door after Robin gets inside.
Barney has drank three scotches and one bottle of Gin before stopping and going into his bedroom. It's only been two minutes since Robin left and the only thing helping him get his mind off her leaving is getting stinken drunk before passing out somewhere. But he stops before he does something regretful like, wanted to go running downstairs hoping she didn't leave to tell her to stay but he didn't and now he lying in bed looking at the picture on his nightstand of him and Robin on their honeymoon.
"I should have told you to stay. Why didn't I? Why didn't I go running after you after you when you left? Why do I have to be so stubborn and only think of taking her back when I can't have her leave her job. I love her but this new job will give her even less time with me and for us. Letting her go was a good thing? She needs to have her career and become more famous even if it kills me to not have her here right now." He's right, he thinks giving her the out was the right way to go and he respects her enough to let her make up her mind. Coming back home was great, he missed her the moment he left Argentina but he needs to let her go so they can both try to move on.
Robin finally goes back to her old apartment building. Not the one she had 11 years ago when she first moved here but the one she gave up to live with Barney in his fortress. This apartment was great and with her ever charming hot self she gets her apartment back once she asks if it's still vacant.
The apartment was still the same except it was empty and had a different color on the walls. It was now white and gray. Like another apartment she knows and didn't want to think about.
"Damn, I have to paint these walls back to only white. I can't have it looking like his (our old) apartment." She puts her stuff inside the bedroom to see that the walls are also the same colors as the living room. "Damn it. Who the hells loves gray so much?" She yells out in a heavy sigh putting her stuff down and going to the bathroom.
"At least the bathroom is white." She sighs again looking at her reflection in the mirror above the sink. At least that's still there too she thinks to herself.
Robin stands in front of the mirror and sees that her face is red and dry from crying earlier. "God, I'm such a mess. Why do I do this to myself?" That's her motto since she was a teenager going around Canada as Robin Sparkles it's something she never stopped thinking or acting on. It's her go-to reason for everything and now it's all about Barney. Why would one man do this to her? How could she give up everything she ever wanted and thought would last forever because of her selfish need to have a career more than a happy husband.
She reflects on her life, it's been like the wackiest, craziest thrill ride ever. She went from being a teenaged popstar to a wife over those seventeen years but somewhere in the middle she stopped believing in everything and start putting her needs ahead of others. Maybe it's because of her up bringing, her father raised her to be independent and fend for herself. But, her mother told her that life's scary without even needing to say the word SCARY. She never knew what she wanted or where she wants to go or be in her life. But, she does know one thing. That she will never ever stop loving Barney Stinson, ever since she see met him her life had become different. She realized that life can be crazy and fun but it can also throw you things that you think you might not want until you might lose it. Loving Barney and being loved by him is something she never knew or thought about in her life. Even when she met guys like Ted. It's always been something that instantly (and now seems forever) attracted to but also love more than she knew she was capable of.
He loved everything about her. Didn't he? It's something he once told her and she took that to mean something. It meant that he did love her, even the worst things about her that she hates herself for now. He loves her for her independent nature, for her love for friends and family, for her good heart, a cool, awesome attitude. He loves her for being her carefree self and taking the fun over the serious situations. And, maybe he even loves her crazy messed up (like him) mind. It's why they're soulmates and why they connect on so many levels. And, it's why she fell in love with him.
"Maybe, time is what needs to be right now. Lily told me once that if you have chemistry all you need is timing. But, the timing of it all is a bitch." She says out loud while staring at the mirror. Lily was right, I should give him time and space because maybe that's all he needs right now. He could come back to her again but for now being apart might be a good thing for both of them.
After Robin left, Barney felt bad for not taking her back when she came to him wanting to work on their relationship. He did want to work things out with her, he loves her and that's never been not true. He always knew when he married her, that she'll still have her career to take seriously. He also knew that since they tried to make their relationship work they would both have to compromise Robin did not and now they are separately from each other. They knew full well how strong their respect and mutual understanding was for one another. Loving her was an easy way for him to finally see something he wanted so badly in a new light. He knew she was always stubborn and selfish but when it came to each other, they always, always understood their independent nature. Robin was strong and wanted to a big success in journalism. Her life goals was to become a famous world wide journalist who everybody knew and wanted to be. That never panned out for her, she loved her job but that wasn't always something she needed in her life.
“Marshall I need to ask you something and don't joke about this because I'm straight up serious.” Barney and Marshall decided to meet every Sunday to catch up on what they been up to. Since Ted was no longer in the city the two guys made sometime to meet and chat about their lives. They missed Ted but it's their way of just being bros without the third bro around. So, every Sunday they meet in one of the two guys apartments but this Sunday they're at Maclarens.
“Okay, ask away.” Marshall replied putting down his beer on the table in front of him.
“Robin and I have been going through somethings. We've decided to end our marriage.” This shocked Marshall, it was a very shocking thing to hear from Barney because he thought that they were happy.
“Why?” Marshall spat out shockingly giving Barney this 'wow' face.
“She has been focused on her job, she never has anytime for me or for our relationship anymore. I told myself it was just me being petty about her choosing her career over me and our marriage. I knew when I married her I would be marrying her career too. But I didn't know that it would take over her life more than our relationship.” Barney confesses that he knows Robin loves her career and her success but he didn't know that her career would be more important than him.
“I get that. Since I've been in the seat I can't think of a time when I'm not busy for Lily. And, now that Lily's been working a lot more for The Captain I haven't seen her enough to have the time for us. You know, a relationship takes compromise and heard work but it doesn't mean you can't work it out.” Marshal and Lily have had some recently relationship problems. They have both been working a lot, with two kids and their careers they barely have time for them anymore. It's becoming a bigger problem but they try and make time to see each other without their kids and work schedules.
“So, after I left Argentina I regretted leaving Robin. But, the problem was. She didn't want to compromise on working versus our relationship. She came to me early this morning only 30 hours after I left to tell me she wants to work on our relationship and make it work. She said she is now staying in the city and taking a new job a Co-President of World Wide News, which would take up more of her time and not give our relationship the time it needs. Just like when she chose to stay in Argentina and end our marriage.”
“Wait, if you just got a divorce that means your marriage is still legal. You can try to save your marriage be ending the divorce.” Marshall explains with a light smile on his lips. He doesn't want to see his friends divorce because of some problems. He knows they can work it out, being together, having Lily in his life makes his days more wonderful. He can't see why Barney still wants a divorce, if Robin's serious about working on their relationship they can still save their marriage.
“I know, it doesn't become legal for another month. We rushed it but since we were in Argentina for 2 weeks we have yet to finalize the papers. Since we have nothing and no pre-nup which I never wanted anyway. I signed my half of the papers but she hasn't yet.” This is interesting, Marshall thinks if Barney and Robin try to talk and communicate better with each other that they can fight for their marriage.
“So, maybe you two should work it out and not file the divorce papers yet. You can still be married, but just separated for a bit while Robin figures out what she wants.” Barney knew that once those papers are filed their marriage would be over. This is something he doesn't want, he wants to stay married because having her as his wife is the only thing he's ever wanted.
Robin called Lily the moment she left Barney's building. She hoped they can meet and talk, Lily responded with I'm working and busy right now maybe tomorrow? With a text reply Robin tells her okay, tomorrow's fine. They meet up the next day at a cafe near World Wide News.
“It's been so long since I've seen you Robin hows' it been?” Lily kisses her friends cheek as they sit down in chairs with their coffees.
“Not so great. I have been working and traveling a lot. But, that's not why I wanted to see you.” Robin takes a sip of her iced latte and then begins to explain to Lily what's really going on in her life.
“Wow, you mean you're divorced? How could that be? You were supposed to have worked out, you seemed ready to be married on the weekend of your wedding. Why would you throw that away so quickly Robin?” Lily was shocked, she knew her two best friends were happy and ready to marry each other, they worked so hard to try and be together what the heck happened between 2013 and 2016? She asks herself wondering why her two idiot friends can't make their relationship/marriage work.
“Not legally but yes.” Robin sadly looks at her coffee and then back up to her friend. “We have a divorce waiting in the wings, but I haven't signed the papers yet. I can't bring myself to sign them, I made a mistake choosing work over him and our marriage. I told myself the day we married that I will spend less time being selfish and for once put someone else's needs before my own. And, now I can lose the only man who respects my independent mind. I love Barney, I want to try and save our marriage so I told him yesterday that I regret letting him leave. I want to try and win him back and tried to yesterday. But, he doesn't want to work this out and he said that he loves me but can't let me chose him over my job.” Lily realizes now that Robin wants to save her marriage but also thinks maybe Barney's right and they should have some time apart until they are in a place where they can make their relationship work.
“Maybe you should give Barney sometime because you seem to think working more is the answer you need to work on your marriage. I understand coming back here and staying in New York was a good idea cause I miss seeing you. But, taking another job when it could take up more of your time... Let Barney have sometime to himself and you should really think about what you really want.” Lily's right, damn she's always right. Robin hates that about Lily but she is and even though she wants Barney back and for him to understand she needs to take sometime to look at herself and find out what she wants.
After their lunch date Robin walked back to the hotel she's been staying in and took a cold shower. It was a hot summer day and she's been sweating since she left lunch. She strips off her clothes and enters the shower. Standing under the cold wet water, she thinks about lunch with Lily, her conversation with Barney and everything she's been thinking and hoping for the last three days. She realizes that she can't force Barney to take her back when she thinks he might need more time. She thinks that Lily was right in saying this to her, she now realizes that she does love her job but loves Barney more and maybe letting him go was a good thing. She understands that her work does always seem to take over her mind and letting Barney go back to New York was the right thing to do.
She closes the faucet and takes the towel off the rack beside the tub, steps out onto the rug and wraps her body into the towel. She walks over to the sink where she looks at her reflection in the mirror before her, just like the night Barney left her. Looking at her reflection just like that night made her feel more better about everything. The light is clear, she knows what she has to do to now... Let Barney have sometime to himself and focus on her new position at work. She doesn't know if she can take this new job opportunity, it's a great opportunity but she doesn't know if she can take this job. The hours traveling was stressful enough and it put an end to their marriage. Or, more so let Barney leave her over her not being around enough. She knows now that she can have love and her career but needs to focus on what she knows... The work she's been doing recently has been great so focusing on that is a good start. She isn't leaving New York again, she loves the city and loves seeing Lily and Marshall. Meeting Lily today was great and she gave her the best advice which helped clear her mind about everything that's happened.
She can't fight the feeling that every time she closes her eyes he comes to her mind. She tosses and turns the night after he leaves her. She tells herself it was for a good reason, that the divorce was the right thing for the both of them. When she reads a text message on her phone the next morning it all comes back to her and the tears begin again.
I love you Robin but I just can't have you pick between me and your career. Thanks for loving me, you made me see that someone like me can be loved and I am grateful to you for being that person in my life. I see now that I can move on with my life because even though I thought we can work, I know we can't. Your career will bring you to wherever you want to go but for me I have to stay in New York. Marrying you was the best and smartest decision I ever made and you made me so happy. Happier than anyone has ever, you are my best friend, my best bro and the woman I wanted to share my life with. So, goodbye for now I hope to see you again but I just can't see you cause it hurts too much. I hope you read this by the time I get on my plane. I love you and wish you all the best in the future.
The tears keep coming and soon she feels a rush of something in her stomach. She runs to the bathroom and throws up, she doesn't know what this feeling is but all she knew is that her body just couldn't take anymore heartbreak. Laying on the bathroom floor next to the toilet, she had thrown up four times in the last fifteen minutes it was hopeless when she tried to get up from the floor so she lays down on the rug with her head looking at the sealing. She was still in the hotel in Argentina, thinking about what just happened to her, her whole life flashing before her eyes as she closes them again still laying on the floor.
“Do you want out Barney?” She asks her husband of only three years and hoped it wasn't going to be what she thought was coming next.
“I love you but.” He pauses trying to not look directly in her eyes. “I can't do this anymore, your job is clearly more important to you than I am. I get that you love your job but I also know that when I married you I was marrying your career too. So I'm giving you this out because I can see you aren't happy.” Those are the last words he had spoke to her and the last thing she remembers.
The tears come again as she opens her eyes still laying on the floor of the bathroom. “Nooooo” she screams out hitting the cold floor beside her with her hand. “I lost him again because of my selfishness, I put my career ahead of him, why do I have to be so selfish and only think of myself all the time. He left me again because he thought I was unhappy and didn't care enough about him to put him first. God, I love this man more than I thought I could love anything or anyone and I gave him the out hoping he wouldn't take it. But he did and now I'm here laying on the floor crying cause I messed up the one thing I've always wanted.” She sits up on the floor where she remained a few minutes later rubbing her swollen eyes then standing up.
“God how did I get here again?” She asks herself looking at her reflection in the mirror.
She's so messed up, god she thought she had it all when she finally told herself to stop running from Barney and she meant it then. But, now. How did that all go away? She married him three years ago and that was the best decision she has ever made then. The way Barney loved her and put her wants and needs before his own made her feel something that she had never felt before and she knew in her heart when she asks him for an out that he would say no and they will be fine cause they would work out their problems. She even wanted to ask him to stay and try to work it out but the selfish part of her thought it would be easier to let him go. It wasn't and now only 24 hours later she's staring at her image in the mirror after having a breakdown. How. No why did she ask him that word? OUT: she now hates this word it's nagging her mind, it's eating at her brain, it's weighing down her heart and causing her stomach to do weird things. This word is the worst word she ever heard. It's the word she did not want to hear coming from his mouth. But she did hear it and now she regrets giving him that out.
She thought she could do this alone, she was already independent. That's what she knew about herself and what Barney loved about her but letting him go without telling him what she needed to tell him. No, what she wanted to tell him but now she can't cause he's gone and she threw away the one thing she needed in her life.
After a half hour just staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror she splashes some cold water on her face then dries it with a towel then leaves the bathroom. As she steps back into the main room of the hotel she looks around noticing that all of Barney's things are gone. He left her, it was the one thing she was terrified of, she ran for so long trying to fight her feelings for him but then he asked her to marry him and she couldn't say no. It's the only thing in her life that she thought could last forever. The one and only man in her life who loved her for HER which meant loving her for being her independent self and for following her dreams. Or, at least she thought supported her career. Maybe the reason he left her was because he thought she wanted her independence back. Maybe she was smothering him or maybe he thought she was unhappy and dragging him all over the world wasn't something he wanted when they married. She got that part but why did he take the out and not say he didn't want to? That's the question she can't help but think about right now.
Did she make the right decision letter him go? No. Was she too scared of the answer he would give next? Yes. Does she regret trying to fix and work out their problems? Yes. Did she do the right thing letting the love of her life go just like that without telling him not to leave her? She told herself yesterday that she did but now that answer is no. She thought she could do this on her own, she thought he'd understand, she wanted him to fight for her, she wanted to fight for him but she was too scared that they wouldn't get passed this.
She liked her new job as foreign correspondent and traveling like she always dreamed of. But that was before she knew that she couldn't live without Barney and accepted to marry him. And now she's alone again sitting on the hotels bed twisting her wedding band between her fingers. She couldn't bring herself to take the ring off until this moment. But it was only for a second before she put it back on her left hand.
“Damn it, I really screwed up again why do I do this? No wonder my father has always been disappointed with me. I can't do anything right. I lost the love of my life for being a coward and not fighting for him... For us, like I should have along time ago. I should have settled down with him when we first dated. God, I knew it then and I knows it now. I love Barney Stinson and will never stop, how can one man do this to me. How can I let him go again when I wanted to be with him forever?” And the tears starts again and she takes off her ring again and throws it across the room where it landed by the trash can, she wanted to throw it inside the can but it didn't land there.
The next thing she knew she was packing up her suitcases and calling her boss telling him she needs to go back to New York. She can't do this job anymore. She leaves the hotel and checks out and hops on the next plane back to where her home is and where her heart lies.